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DEAD DRUMMERS

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bee1Question:

I'll bet  you had a blast during the 70's but we heard a rumour that you were responsible for the death of the drummer from Spinal Tap. Is this true and did you use witchcraft to achieve your demonic agenda?

Answer:

The accusations have been dealt with over and over on the public forum but as a matter of record I would like to state that I do often plot the downfall of fictitious characters but in this instance I am innocent. For a matter of record you can see the list below (thank you wikipedia) and my name is never mentioned. For any further comment please contact my lawyer.

John "Stumpy" Pepys (1964–1966) Died in a bizarre gardening accident, that the authorities said was "best left unsolved."

Eric "Stumpy Joe" Childs (1966–1967) Choked on vomit of unknown origin, perhaps but not necessarily his own, because "you can't really dust for vomit."

Peter "James" Bond (1967–1977) Spontaneously combusted on stage during a jazz festival on the Isle of Lucy.

Mick Shrimpton (1977–1982) Exploded onstage.

Joe "Mama" Besser (1982) Claimed he "couldn't take this 4/4 shit"; according to an MTV interview with Spinal Tap in November 1991, he disappeared along with the equipment during their Japanese tour. He is either dead or playing jazz. 

Richard "Ric" Shrimpton (1982–1999) Allegedly sold his dialysis machine for drugs; presumed dead.

Sammy "Stumpy" Bateman (1999-2001) Died trying to jump over a tank full of sharks while on a tricycle in a freak show.

Scott "Skippy" Scuffleton (2001–2007) Fate unknown.

Chris "Poppa" Cadeau (2007–2008) Eaten by his pet python Cleopatra.

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